What Halloween can teach us about perspectives
Happy Halloween!
It's always been one of my favorite holidays because my fondness for costumes and general shenanigans runs deep!
Here's evidence:
I was thinking this morning about how dressing up in costume allows us to access different perspectives AND different parts of ourselves.
Parts that we may have forgotten about.
When we see things differently, we gain access to choices we didn't know were there.
[And we don't have to wait until Halloween to try on a different perspective - we can access to it any ol' day of the week!]
When I did my coach training a few years ago, one of the courses we take is called Balance, and it's all about making choices in our life instead of reacting to our lives.
I learned the power of perspective in a way I'll never forget during that course.
I had borrowed a friend’s car to drive from NYC to Boston. As I headed to the training on Day 1, I noticed the gas tank light had come on.
Judging by Google Maps, I was pretty sure I could make it to the training venue without running out of gas.
During the training, I was so engrossed in the conversation, experiential learning, and practice coaching sessions that I had completely forgotten about the gas tank.
We were learning about the concept of choice from a giant grid made out of masking tape on the floor. The tape divided the room into six slices that looked like big pie slices, with each slice representing a different perspective.
We looked at topics like money or relationships from different perspectives by physically moving into different slices on the floor. For example:
How would ACDC see it?
How would a 5-year old see it?
What if you looked at it from the perspective of your favorite houseplant?
I was amazed at how many perspectives could be true at once, even ones I didn’t love (or even like), and if I was willing to try it on, I could find the tiny bit of truth in each one.
And by trying it on, it wasn’t just in my head, I embodied that perspective and imagined what it would be like in that “geography” (colors, smells, sounds, even temperature).
As the day came to a close, I was starting to get it, but I wasn’t quite ready to “buy” the idea of choice no matter what.
Aren't ya just STUCK sometimes?
I also thought it seemed too formulaic.
At the end of the day, I got in my friend's car ready to head back to another friend's house where I was staying. I started the car and saw the little gas light.
I felt a little twinge of worry about finding gas but I also felt confident that I had Google Maps on my phone, so I could navigate to a gas station, no problem.
I started to follow the directions back to the highway. But Boston has a lot of tunnels. And Google Maps' GPS doesn’t work in the tunnels. And there’s also a lot of traffic at 6pm on a Friday.
Ummmm yikes.
Five minutes into my drive, I found myself at a dead stop in bumper-to-bumper traffic inside a tunnel.
The gas light staring back at me.
My phone had lost its signal.
I glanced back down to the gas light and my stomach dropped.
The usual signs of anxiety set in, my palms got sweaty and my heart started to visibly pound out of my chest.
I was STUCK. No cars were moving around me.
I was sure I was going to run out of gas in this tunnel.
I imagined myself trying to redirect traffic around my stopped vehicle with no orange cones or traffic flares in this dark tunnel.
I checked my GPS again, no dice.
And then it hit me, what if I could change my perspective?
Can I try what I learned today, like, right now?
I turned up the radio, 100% willing to take my cue from whatever song was on. It was Fleetwood Mac’s “Gypsy”. I asked myself what Stevie Nicks would do in this moment.
I relaxed my shoulders and sat back in the seat. I loosened my grip on the steering wheel. I even started to sway my torso and my shoulders a little bit.
Stevie would trust exactly where she is. Stevie would tap into something greater than fear and worry and that damn orange gas light, she’d trust magic.
And when I tried on the "Stevie" perspective, everything shifted.
The cars around me started to move.
My phone’s GPS still wasn’t connecting and I decided to just toss my phone onto the passenger seat and look around for a gas station when I got out of the tunnel.
As I drove towards the (literal and figurative) light at the end of the tunnel, there was a gas station on my right.
Perfect, because I was in the right lane. I pulled in, couldn’t help but laugh to myself, and I thanked Stevie.
I’ll never forget what that moment taught me about the power of perspective. All the “evidence” told me I was shit outta luck. Stuck.
And my nervous system was 💯 convinced that I was in trouble.
But by accessing my imagination through the doorway of Stevie Nicks' “Gypsy”, I could tap into my creativity and intuition.
I could trust and locate myself again even though my GPS couldn’t find me.
Borrowing Stevie's perspective brought flow where there was stuckness.
It reminded me that while I couldn’t make the traffic disappear, I couldn’t get my phone’s GPS to work, and I couldn’t know where the closest gas station was, I could still CHOOSE how I saw it.
Even with a whole lot OUT of my control, I was still in control of how I chose to experience it.
I've leaned on Stevie’s perspective multiple times since then before important professional and personal conversations.
I have a Stevie outfit that I wear when I need to tap into that magical, rock star, courageous, confident energy (it'd be an awesome Halloween costume!)
Is there a place in your life where you feel stuck that could benefit from a new perspective?
I have a game-changing exercise that I use with my clients that brings new perspectives to wherever you're feeling stuck.
I can give you a taste of it in a complimentary coaching session.
Bring your stuckness and you'll leave our call with new perspectives and some relief. Promise.
Wishing you a very Happy Halloween,
Stacy
PS. Every Halloween costume you see today / tonight could represent another perspective on where you're feeling stuck, so be on the lookout!
