And I was yoyo-ing back and forth between wanting to sign up for absolutely every online offer I saw or go cold turkey and delete all social media for my own sanity. The “productive”, overdoing part of me was spinning out. The illusion that I could control work things in a way I couldn’t control anything else in my life was an oh-so-tempting invitation. I was desperate to feel better (and productive! Helpful! Of service! Needed! Like I was really earning this privilege to be able to work from home while others are on the front lines or out of jobs or sick!).

Yesterday I went down to the river to reflect. The river where I almost drowned once, the river where my Grandpa would fly fish (right off his 4 wheeler in his later years), the river that’s home to bears and fish and eagles and deer.

A couple of months later, tired of squeezing in work for the startup on her evenings and weekends, everything in her body was telling her she wanted to be done. And that was waaaaaaayy scarier than the business as usual, head down, pretending like it’s still working strategy.

I'm so grateful to all of you who've supported me and my growing business. Thank you!! I wish I had a cupcake for every single one of you.