The REAL why behind this women's circle.

I realized yesterday that I haven't been sharing the whole truth about why I do what I do with you.

Not intentionally, but I didn't tell you the full story yet.

I've talked about what the program includes, how it's helped participants, the cute four growth phases that guide the program, how cool the playlists are, and what you'll gain from our time together.

I haven't told you that I grew up watching all of my mom's energy get squeezed out like a sponge until there was nothing left.

My dad was diagnosed with a chronic illness when I was 6. His kidneys and white blood cells weren't working as they should be. Get the whole story here.

Understandably, my mom's time, energy, and attention went to his needs and her work.

Doctors appointments were a priority.

The needs of my mom's first graders were a priority.

What other teachers needed from her was a priority.

My sister and my needs were a priority.

My grandparents' needs were a priority.

She was last on her list.

I have a very distinct memory that captures this awareness for me.

Because there weren't any kidney specialists where we lived, my Dad lived in the hospital for a few months. That hospital was 45 minutes away from home, near his doctor.

One day after work, my mom did the long drive to visit my Dad in the hospital.

It was the holiday season and 20 degrees below freezing outside.

In the private waiting room for the Intensive Care Unit, she took her coat off and began writing lesson plans for her class.

When it was time to go into the appointment, she looked around the waiting room, saw that she was the only person there, and figured she'd pick up her coat* on her way out.

*This light blue coat was quite a splurge for my mom, and she'd bought it only a couple of months before that day. She bought it to stay warm for her morning recess duty at the elementary school where she worked.

After the appointment, she came back to the waiting room and her coat was gone.

It wasn't in the lost and found either - someone had stolen it.

She was devastated.

She walked into the cold, dark night facing the harsh reality of this moment and wondered how she could possibly face what's coming when she couldn't even take care of herself.

I asked her about it this morning - she said she had "held it together pretty well up until that moment, but when I realized someone stole my coat, I thought the whole world was against me."

Looking back, I can only imagine the weight of the grief and fear and worry hitting her like a ton of bricks.

Have you ever anxiously juggled all that you need to do with such ferocity that you don't have time to feel what emotions lurk beneath all that you're doing?

The distinct part that I remember was that she was mad at herself about it.

As a 6 year old, I got the message loud and clear: other people's needs come before mine and if something goes wrong, it's my fault.

I need to be clear: I don't blame my mom for showing me this example.

She was doing the absolute best she could.

Doctors were telling her that my Dad wouldn't make it and she was having to face the possibility of raising two kids on her own on a teacher's salary (about $23,000 a year).

I blame lifetimes upon lifetimes of patriarchal conditioning that tells us as women that our value is solely based on how much and how well we care for others.

The same conditioning also tells us that if something goes wrong that it's our fault.

What example are you giving your daughters, other women coworkers, and other women around you?

Are you being an example of a woman whose needs come last?

Or are you being an example of a woman who prioritizes your needs and dreams?

Are you trying to create a different example all on your own?

If you're tired of over-prioritizing other people's needs and under-prioritizing yours, join the women's circle.

There are 4 spots left, and we start on Tuesday night.

Wishing you a weekend that honors YOU,

Stacy

PS. If there's a caring, ambitious woman in your world who is craving powerful practices in a small, supportive community of caring + ambitious women, I'd be so grateful if you shared the circle with her! Here's an easy peasy email template to customize and send to her.